Restricted love
by Tecnido Blackvalley
Summary: Kaoru has feelings for Hikaru.. deeper than normal brotherly Love. But does Hikaru feel the same way about him?


**Restricted love****  
**_Chapter 1_

It was a fine morning outside. The birds were singing, and the sun was shining. Only a few streaks of light found their way through the closed curtains of their room. The sunshine hit Kaoru's face as he mumbled something under his breath; slowly opening his eyes only to find himself looking at his brother and he smiled.

The phone rang, and he knew all too well who it would be; considering they had different ringtones for all of their friends, which were few and far between by the way.

"I swear… that guy wakes up too early.." he mumbled and gave a sigh and reached for the phone.

--------

That annoying ring tone just had to ruin his sleep, didn't it?

What time was it, anyway? What _day_ was it?

Saturday. Hikaru remembered, having to think for just a tad too long.

A day that their stupid lord should _not_ be calling at seven in the morning when they could just talk at school. At least, that's what the clock said on the bedside table.

"Baka Tono..." Hikaru groaned, pushing himself up from the comfort of his bed, though soon enough he just plopped back down onto his brother. His arms snaked around Kaoru's torso, snuggling into the familiar warmth, still obviously half asleep.

"You talk to him, Kaoru... I did last time..." He soon realized, though, Kaoru was already answering, and the only thing he heard next was that annoyingly familiar voice screaming from the other end of the line.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! Otou-san has some _amazing_ news!!" Tamaki never ceased to amaze him at how irritating he could be. "It's about the Host Club, of course, but I just have to know what you two think if it!!"

--------

He held the phone as far away from his head as his hand could manage to reach. WHY did tono have to always be so loud? More so, why is he so god damned early?

"Tono? It's seven in the morning.." Kaoru tried to sound like if he was too tired for this, but he was truly awake though, smiling down at his brother while mouthing "good morning".  
He stroked his free hand against the familiar shape of Hikaru's face gently while waiting to hear this stupid plan that had awaken them. "What's this plan then Tono?"  
He began to "listen" whilst he snuggled up against Hikaru, loving this close feeling they both shared, and the loving warmness of his brother's touch.

--------

"Oh, I'm sure you two will just love this!" The voice seemed even louder than it should have done; possibly due to the fact the whole mansion was dead silent.

Not that it surprised Hikaru; both if their parents were gone for business and the maids tended to keep quiet for some reason. He could never say, though, that he hated it.

It just meant more of a good reason to be with his brother. Finally meeting Kaoru's eyes for the first time that morning--Tamaki still just pointlessly rambling around the subject--he just managed a tired smirk and a soft hum--which loosely meant, "mornin''".

"I already have the okay from Kyouya, and every thing's all set to go! I'll just need you two to help with the costumes and other necessities for the dance party I want to hold next weekend before summer vacation!" Hikaru just managed an irritated groan at that. Did the club have one not too long ago..??

Lazily reaching up, the older of the two grabbed the phone and his brother's hand and pulled the phone closer to him. He wasn't really in the mood for nonsense like this.  
"Tono, didn't we just have one a few weeks ago?" His tone was obviously showing he was still partially asleep, "Why the hell would we help with another one?" For once, there was a silence over the line, though there was the sound of faint incoherent, depressed mumbling.

--------

Kaoru couldn't really make much out of the lords rambling, and didn't really want to either. He didn't have to even guess that Hikaru would be thinking the same as him in this moment. It seemed like for every word Tono said he just got louder and louder... Kaoru couldn't say if it was his loud ranting that annoyed him or the fact that he called this early when they would soon enough meet up anyway. Kaoru chuckled from the all too normal "morning" greeting he'd just gotten, and fortunately Tamaki didn't notice.

Kaoru was about to answer Tono which had just said a whole lot of things he had already forgotten when he was busy giving his older twin all his attention, when Hikaru took control of the phone. He only managed to show off a loving smile and snuggled against the warm chest of his brother.

"Mmmm… Hikaru?" he looked up at him, "If he really wants to have something big, ask him why not have a party instead?" he mumbled while stroking his index finger up his brothers arm and chuckled.

--------

Hikaru just sighed, irritated; not at his brother--never at his brother--but at their "lord's" antics. Normally, he would have gotten some kind of enjoyment out of the Suoh's overly dramatic reactions to simple things.

However it was just simply too early in the day for this; even for the Hitachiins.

Still getting no reply from the other end of the line, Hikaru just glanced back at the clock on their nightstand. Tamaki had managed to waste fifteen minutes of their morning with his pointless blabbing about some silly little dance, and he could've sworn he heard something about Haruhi in "the most beautiful of dresses while the two of them dance until the stroke of midnight".

Lazily wrapping his free arm around Kaoru, bringing him just a tad closer, Hikaru nuzzled into the red hair for a moment before finally speaking up, "Don't think he can hear us anymore... Too busy cultivating mushrooms in his corner of woe at the moment," and just snapped the phone shut, tossing the blue cell phone on the nightstand.

Ending that call like that would only give the two an earful later from their hyperactive senpai, but, right now, Hikaru didn't really care. Besides, the maids would be up there soon enough to get the two up and ready for school. He at _least_ wanted to enjoy the few minutes they had left.

Hikaru just sighed, "He gets up way too early..."

--------

Kaoru knew all to well that they would hear all about this later at school anyway. Tono wasn't the type of guy who shut up about something like this when he had first started. When his brother sighed he just rubbed his hands against his chest - a small sign to him that he should relax - and tried to get an eye contact with him. "Tono annoying you again??" he fought back a smile.

"He's probably gonna keep it up at school, ne?" He wasn't all that happy that Hikaru would give other people attention, but he knew he couldn't just say it out like that.

It would be too hard, and maybe it would even hurt his brother.  
He couldn't help but chuckle from that remark.

"Doesn't he usually do that?" he smirked.

he then smiled pleased by the attention he had gotten now, and hoped that no one more would interrupt their morning, at least not until the maids would come.  
"Maybe because of your snoring?" he chuckled and without giving Hikaru any thinking - or reply - time, Kaoru laid his lips on Hikaru's, before his brother knew what he was doing.

--------

He finally did calm down at his brother's touches; they always seemed to work no matter what was going on. Besides, it was Kaoru.

Just being near him gave him some security. At least, that's what he thought. Even though he seemed to be the kind of person to hold a grudge against someone, Hikaru always managed to forget it once his brother calmed him down. Then it would just seem stupid, and move on. He loved that about his brother.

Plain and simple.

Hikaru smiled a little, bringing their foreheads together as Kaoru kept asking things; his fingers found their way into the other's hair, just lazily playing with the strands.

He noticed, after a while, that their conversations usually involved Tamaki in one way or another; whether it be mocking or an honest topic, it always varied.

It was usually the former. It was odd, he knew, but then again, they didn't really have anyone else that they knew that well that they could make fun of that much. Tono could so easily provide hours of _their_ fun.

"Hey," Hikaru smirked at his brother's last statement, "I do not--" His mind when blank.

The sensation of Kaoru on his own lips felt... odd. Different.

He couldn't say he didn't like it; that would be a lie.

But it was definitely new--they only ever kissed each other on the forehead or cheek and even that was rather rare--and it sent a chill up and down his spine.

Hesitantly, Hikaru finally managed to push Kaoru back a bit, actually starting to miss that kiss already--not that he would admit it--and just stared at his brother a little wide-eyed.

If he was still tired a bit ago, he was definitely a wake now.  
"What was that for?" He asked, trying to sound like it wasn't a big deal. His hands still refused to move away from Kaoru's shoulders.

--------

Kaoru loved the fact that he was able to calm down his brother like that. He felt that he could always be calm around Hikaru for some reason, and it seemed to him that Hikaru did indeed feel the same way about him.

Just by the closeness of his older twin, Kaoru felt like he could do anything.

Besides, he felt useful being around him as well. Hikaru was his whole reason for existence.

If someone tried to get too close to him, Kaoru would feel hurt, but he usually got over it again when they were alone together. Much like this.

"And you really felt nothing?" Kaoru gave him a nervous smile before his eyes flickered across the room.  
He didn't really know the real reason why he had reacted that way either, but it was something about his brother that made him feel like that.

He guessed that it had been the only way he was able to show his brother how he truly felt at that moment, but now...he couldn't help but thinking things like _What's happening with me? These feelings are not normal! Am I normal??  
_Right now though… Kaoru just hoped that someone would disturb them again. Maybe Tama-chan could ring them again??

The maids??

Anyone??  
He didn't know what would happen; maybe it was a mistake kissing Hikaru like that. He hadn't really considered his older twins feelings before he did it. He hadn't been thinking any of this through.  
He looked down to avoid making any eye contact.

Seeing Kaoru lose eye contact with him brought this weird feeling in his heart.

What was it called? Guilt? It felt like his brother had always had this tight hold on him, and suddenly... it was gone.

He can became so used to it, this "simple" relation they had, that this just seemed to show a new door. Whether that door was still locked tight or wide open was still up for discussion with his common sense, but it was definitely there, and taunting him.

Hikaru just wasn't the best at processing this much information all at once. He hadn't even noticed that his hand had left Kaoru's shoulder and was slowly, carefully, rested on the curve of his brother's cheek.

"Kaoru," He didn't even know what he was going to say exactly.

The name as just rolled out of his mouth like it did countless other times. It was just a tad different this time, though. Hikaru just felt like he had to say something.

Anything, really.

"I-I never said--"

A few loud knocks on the door, and it seemed to snap Hikaru out of his thoughts. He quickly withdrew his hand, but doing so ended up with him collapsing onto the ground. That was a first.

He could've sworn he was closer to the middle than that.

Groaning a bit, he sat up and glanced toward the door for a moment seeing the two maids already poking their heads in their room. They just stared stoically for a moment, before speaking up.

"Young Masters, it's time to get ready for school." And with that simply said, the two young maids left to come back later in about fifteen minutes if nothing was heard from the two.

Hikaru just sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, not really staring at anything in particular--anywhere but the bed at the moment--with a very faint blush to his face. Not that Hikaru blushed, of course.

He never blushed; that's just absurd. He couldn't believe what he was about to say. To his brother. Today was going to be one hell of an awkward day. That really was a first.

--------

Kaoru didn't really mean for this awkwardness to happen. He regretted what he had done now. He noticed that Hikaru seemed tense about this and that was never supposed to happen. He had lost his control and made a mistake, not just one you could joke away, but a serious one that he couldn't take back.

He didn't know where to place his eyes - didn't wanna look up and meet Hikaru - but he really wanted to know his reaction to all of this at the same time as he feared it more than anything.

When Hikaru finally broke the silence again, saying his name, his eyes just automatically rose to look at his brothers face.  
He looked so confused and unsure about the whole situation; Kaoru felt a tear working its way out.

This was bad, very bad.

The second the Maids knocked on the door he turned his whole attention over to them, not really sure if he was grateful or not for their interruption.

After all… Hikaru was about to say something to him that he probably now would never know what was.

Yet he didn't care all that much right now.

He got to his feet strolling off to get dressed into his uniform. Nothing more today could possibly get more awkward. Not even Tono.

Despite what just happened, Hikaru was a little surprised that Kaoru didn't even say anything to him. Yeah, they just happened to have one of the biggest awkward moments ever between them, but... He guessed he was just used to both of them just goofing off in the morning, messing around while getting ready to leave.

He couldn't have that now, could he?

Only one small problem: what does one say after your twin kisses you; and make the situation not awkward anymore?

Oh, it was quite the paradox. Even with their great acting skills, Hikaru just couldn't think of the right emotion to play out. He didn't even know what emotion he was feeling right now.

That also seemed to pose a bit of a problem.

After finally getting up off the floor, Hikaru followed his brother to their closet. He didn't really have everything planned out yet, but he just couldn't let things settle like this.

They had never been on a different level with anything before, as far as Hikaru knew, and this certainly would not do. With a soft sigh, Hikaru came up and wrapped his arms from behind Kaoru and rested his chin on his shoulder; a normal gesture between the two.

He looked up at the side of his brother's face from the corner of his eye, and tried to come up with something to say that hopefully wouldn't be too offensive or just come out totally wrong. Hikaru really wasn't the greatest with words, anyway.

"Kaoru?" He finally spoke up, and just glanced down at his hands, "What's up with you this morning, huh?" Hikaru was trying to act like that kiss was just another event in their lives that just happened. He knew he wouldn't be able to play it off for too long, though.

In the back of his mind, in the far back of his mind where he usually tried to stay away from, he knew he would start wanting that again. A thought came into his head, though, not soon after. _I'm disgusting... aren't I..?  
_

His head had the answer for everything that had happened, but he couldn't believe it was like that. _I… I think… I think I am in love with Hikaru… _he couldn't say it out loud.

What would Hikaru think of him? Maybe he could ask someone at the club about it? Maybe it was just brotherly love after all.

Was it really all that wrong to love his brother? So what if it was awkward.

Many others did awkward things... What was wrong with him doing it just this once?

Mostly he felt guilty for not saying anything after all that had just happened, and he was just thinking of something to say really.

Kaoru was working on getting all the pieces for his uniform, but froze dead when Hikaru's familiar arms wrapped around him. This was something he really hadn't expected, at least not as fast as it did. His eyes shot a glance down at his brothers face wondering what was about to happen now.

He hoped it wasn't something bad. How badly had Kaoru upset him? "Hikaru… I---" he was about to start at the same time as Hikaru said his name.

"Ne, Hikaru…" he pressed his lips in a tight line.

Maybe he should act? Or lie?

"Hikaru…we'll always be together, right?" he took a deep breath and looked at his older brothers face this time as he spoke.

"I think I'm a little confused today… I didn't mean to upset you. Let's forget about it, ne?"

Was it that simple? Was it really all that simple to forget about it?

He didn't wanna forget it though.

The softness and the warm lips of Hikaru touching his had just been too much for him. He gave a sigh without thinking. He knew that Hikaru would probably notice that he was trying to push away the subject.

_We're twins.__.. _he reminded himself._ Thinking something like that is unforgivable... _


End file.
